How I Work with People
There's no magic pill that erases love scarcity and reprograms abundance into your system. Developing lasting change is a labor of love and commitment. It's an art, really! I work with folks anywhere from six months to a year. The best part is, prioritizing yourself in this way is part of developing secure attachment.
I help you develop secure attachment in your relationships by developing secure attachment with yourself first.
When you are secure in yourself, you will feel this translate to all of your relationships in your life. Your actions are a reflection of your inner world that you project onto your outer world.
We start with 2 guided exercises:
Uncovering your Essence
The Stability Wheel
Grow Your Vision
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1. Uncovering your Essence
It's easy to mistake your survival strategies and past trauma as your personality. Your essence is who you are at your core underneath all of the trauma responses and social conditioning.
This is a tool that will help ground you back into reality when you're feeling out of balance. Most folks who do this exercise experience a confidence boost! Many of my clients still refer to their Essence as a tool in their daily life even years after we work together.
What's your essence?
2. The Stability Wheel
Identify your needs so you can set healthy boundaries
In western society, the mind likes to keep things siloed and separate. In reality, everything is interconnected, your needs included. Rather than feeling like your needs have to compete with each other, the wheel helps you visualize how your needs work together for you to stay emotionally resilient. The more balanced you meet each category of need, the smoother you will roll through life. That’s not to say there won’t be bumps in the road, but when there are bumps, you won’t be taken out by them.
My coaching offerings are a reflection of all of my life experience. Here are a few of the aspects I incorporate into my coaching practice:
I'm an ACC certified ontological coach. Ontology = the study of being. In other words, it's a framework that sees you as a human being, not a human doing.
For the whole year of 2020 (sensitive subject, I know) I completed a Mindful Living residency at a Tibetan Buddhist center in Berkeley, CA.
I've been actively engaged with coaching since 2018. The amount of transformation I've experienced is literally laughable. Coaching gave me the self awareness and emotional resilience to realize I was transgender. Since then, I've changed my name, quit my office job, moved across country, changed my career, and started medically transitioning. I intend to live in alignment with my truth in ALL aspects of my life and I'm constantly making those adjustments. Life is an art.
I don't pretend to be perfect or fully "healed" - as if healing isn't a life long journey. Please don't put me on a pedestal (a characteristic of insecure attachment). I'm a humble student of life, constantly learning through books, podcasts, webinars, conferences, and courageously exploring my shadows.
Systemic Trauma and Ancestral Trauma. I recognize power dynamics and systems of oppression (patriarchy, capitalism, ableism, heternormativity, mononormativity, racism, etc.) that affect they way we relate to ourselves and others. We are all touched by these systems everyday (it's the fish bowl we're swimming in) and it's important to acknowledge these dynamics for holistic healing to occur. It would be unrealistic, and even harmful, to ignore the systems that shape our lives.
I'm authoring a memoir of my life called "Spiritual Slut" where I share how sexuality can be a gateway to healing deep relational wounds. I share my journey from living as a closeted queer trans boy in Missouri to moving to California, entering the kink scene and learning to fall in love with every inch of who I am.
I've been following Dr. Nicole LePera's guidance around Inner Child work for years and have developed a strong practice that has greatly helped me develop self compassion and connection to my intuition. Future self journaling has been a powerful tool in my journey of personal transformation.
Westerners love to use their logic brains, but only so much healing can happen on a cerebral level. This is why I incorporate somatic (body based) practices like EFT tapping (aka Emotional Freedom Technique,) breath work and meditation.
Interested in working together?